"God gives us dreams a size too big so that we can grow into them."

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

A note to Leah, age 17-18

A note from my 25 year old self to my 17-18 year old self.

Dear Leah,

Wow, if only you knew what the next 8 years would be like!  Right around now I suppose you are just finding out you are pregnant.  Don't be scared, this is going to end up being one of the best days of your life.  Don't worry about how little money you and Ben have, life has a way of working itself out, even if you have no idea how it will.

You won't always have no money.  Money comes and goes.  Work hard!  Try your best and everything will work out!

I guess I should also mention that this whole pregnancy thing is gonna be kinda hard, but totally worth it.  You are going to get a phone call one day that will make you wonder if your baby is ok.  Don't worry, he is, God will always take care of him.

Right before your baby is born life is gonna throw you and Ben a curve ball, but you will make it though.  You have friends and family that love you a lot.  Life will not always be this hard.  

About a year after your baby is born you will finally have your own place to call home again and God is going to take Ben's new job and run with it.  You will see month after month and year after year God provide for your family through this job that God gave him.

Oh, and speaking of Ben, Ben is going to become a better father and husband every year that you are together.  Ben is always going to be on your side, love you when you are unloveable and take care of you.  He will also work hard to become your son's (yes, you are having a son :) ) best friend.  He actually manages to be more amazing 8 years from now than he is right now.

Since I have let the cat out of the bag that your first baby will be a little boy I might as well tell you a little bit about what he is going to be like.  He is going to be beautiful, he is going to be little when he arrives but that will quickly change.  As he turns One, Two and then Three be PATIENT with him.  When he is going through the terrible twos just love him through it.  After he turns Three, Four, Five and then Six he will turn into one of the most caring wonderful little boys you will ever meet.  He will teach you so much about love and strength that you will thank God every day, day and night for him.

Well, I guess here is the part when I will tell you a little bit about how you will turn out.  Over the next few year you will struggle with depression and have days that you feel like you are "not on speaking terms with God".  God is going to love you through those times.  His love for you will always far out weigh your selfishness and lack of understanding.  

There are things you will be good at and things you won't be good at.  You will learn that the hard worker you have always been needs to be kept busy!  Being a Mom will be your favorite job but you will also start and run a successful business that God puts in front of you.  

I know, some days I can't believe what God has done either.

As you get older you will get a little bit better about how quickly you get angry and you will get a lot better in the whole patience department.  It is still a work in progress but you will get there.

Oh!  I should also mention that you and Ben will decide to try to adopt through foster care!  I know you won't believe me about that now, but in a few years you will understand.  God will show you, like He always does.

In the mist of all these years there will be some pain mixed in there.  Through that pain you will get to see the goodness of God first hand.  You will see Him perform miracles in both your family & Ben's.  Even when things seem hopeless know that He is still there, taking wonderful care of the people you love.

If I could only tell you 1 thing that is true about what the future holds it would be this:

  God will always take care of you.  Good care of you.

Behave yourself  :)


Leah Wentzel


Ben said...

That was cool. You were never "Unlovable" though. I love you!

gram said...

How beautiful. You need to make a copy and put in Kobe's baby book or scrap book. Also another copy for a potential adoption of a Foster child or if you decide to have another baby. We have so much to be thankful for. God is Good.


great, now i'm tearing up :)
leah, that was really beautiful. what a great idea to look back like that. you can really see how God has been working in your life, even when you didn't know it. it's so neat getting to know you better through your blog!

Alyssa said...

I like the behave yourself part:) LOL Cute!

That was great! God is so good to us all the time. Even when we are so "unloveable"! Praise God for that! I enjoyed reading that, and am so blessed b/c of the work that HE has done in you and through you.

Love you!!

Rebekah said...

I love this....

Vicki Aeschliman said...

Ok, I must be hormonal because that brought tears to me.

cindy said...

Leah, do you realize you have a gift that you have not tapped yet? You have a gift to write. That touched my heart, I almost could see it being Christ talking to you. I only wish more wives/mothers understood the power of their words! You really make us proud. God has an amazing vessel in you.
Love you,

Posh Pixels said...

soo cute leah! i love it.

Lauren said...

I just sat here and balled reading this....Maybe its because I know the Leah I grew up with or maybe its being pregnant...maybe just maybe its because for the first time in my life I feel like God loves me too and will always take care of me and my babies! I love you very much and Im glad we talked yesterday!