Also, last night turned into an interesting night. K has been going on visits with this family that thinks they want to adopt him. They have had 3 visits now and they all have gone great and I think they really like him and I think he likes them too.
I don't know how to explain it but ever since I met these people I have had a feeling that once they adopt K they would have no interest in him staying in contact with us. They are nice people, good people, but it was just a vibe I was getting. Anyway, I called to firm up plans with them last night for today (he is going over to their house today for the day) and I finally just asked him (the dad is the talker of the two) if K wanted to maintain a relationship with us if they were open to that. And, in all honesty he didn't give me a straight answer but it kinda ended up sounding like they would be willing to send us updates on him but I think they are thinking it is better for him if he is emersed in their family and life so that he understands who his family is.
In a way, I couldn't agree more. I can see myself doing that if I was them. Ben and I both agreed that we could understand where they are coming from. Ben said that considering the fact that K calls me mom and him dad and he actually likes it here is probably a big factor because he needs to look at them as mom and dad and perhaps having us around would make things confusing, especially if he wanted to come and visit us. Ben and I both want what is best for K and I do truly believe that being in his permanent family IS what is best for him. It makes me sad to think that the day they take him to live with him might be the last time I ever talk to him...but what a great day that will be for him - to finally be going home.
So, we will see what they do and how they do it, but for now I have to prepare to not see or talk to a little boy who has called me mom for the rest of his life. That just doesn't seem right to me to tell you the truth. I think people need to realize that these kids have been dealt a crappy hand in life but THIS IS THEIR LIFE. This is their normal and sometimes they are just going to have to live with it. He has a family who loves him and that he loves. I just don't want him to think we don't want to see him, because that isn't the case.
3 comments:
Suggestion... write him a letter and include a scrapbook of his time with you. You are a part of his history :)
I'm sorry Leah, It's tough, really tough. you are doing a great job. i appreciate how you are always thinking through both sides of this.
blessings.
Some thing happened with Baby 'C'. His adoptive parents never fostered a day in their life but as soon as they were approved to foster Baby 'C' was placed in their home as an adoptive placement. He was with us for 17 months. Not a WORD!! Not a thank you, not a letter saying he was ok and adjusting to their family...NOTHING. But I KNOW that he is in a good place. Ask God to give you the peace NOW!!! Maybe write him a letter telling of his time with you and what you wanted for him. God is STILL faithful, Leah. I KNOW you know that!!!
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