June 5, 2008
Every time I get discouraged God says, “Keep pushing through…” He gives me strength when I just don’t feel like emotionally I will be able to deal with this journey…
I don’t have much to say besides I think we may decide to be come foster parents in order to find what God has planned for us…I think that might be the way…
June 6, 2008
“Whatever it is that is inviting you to fear, is actually God's invitation to faith"
As I watch myself try to muddle through the legal system that stands between any adoptive parent and their new child I feel like I am going further and further into a mess I don’t want to get into. I honestly think about how much easier it would be to just not do any of it…to just call it a day and be happy with our little 3-person family. God has been so good to us and the unknown makes me not want to change anything. And then it comes, God’s still small voice that says, “Trust Me, Follow Me, You know I have GREAT plans for you, You know I love you and I always do what is best for you…”
And He’s right, HE always does, so because of this I can’t give up and I know if anything comes of this, if we ever find that little one that is supposed to be part of our family I will be able to look back and Thank God every day for leading us down this path-and even if that is not the case, I will always know how GOOD GOD IS!
I read about a young lady that had been adopted. She was speaking at an adoption parenting class and she shared with the class that although she loved her birth parents very much she had struggled with feeling like she was their “Plan B”. They too had decided to adopt after not being able to conceive themselves. That is usually the honest, easy answer for why did you decide to adopt?
Well, to be honest I am very excited to have a different answer. My answer is that as much as God chose me to give birth to Kobe and to love him and raise Him, God called me to look for you and find you and love you and raise you. Two different trips with the same amazing ending.
June 9, 2008
I am hoping today to get some answers about being a foster parent. I have no idea what you are allowed to give stipulations on or anything. I don’t exactly feel as though I am equipped to take on a child that is very medically demanding and ideally we would limit ourselves to kids that have already had the parental rights terminated (is this possible?) I have a feeling that I will look back at this and laugh at my own naivety to the foster care system and what it means to be involved with it.
Later on June 9, 2008...
I don’t understand. WHY am I able to find profile after profile of couples who are desperate to adopted yet there are so many kids waiting. Why do we need to pursue adoption if there are millions of families waiting in line to adopt???? I feel like screaming WHY WHY WHY!!!!
I think it sucks. I think it sucks people are waiting and "they" aren’t getting kids to them. I think it sucks that there are kids waiting and "they" aren’t getting their parents to them! I think it sucks it costs so much to adopt. I think the whole thing sucks and I have a feeling the more I get into it the more I will realize that the court systems and government are making this all a lot harder than it needs to be.
So why do I need to do this again? I guess it boils down to – If there is a child that is supposed to grow up in our homes and have us as parents it is as important as it was for God to give us Kobe. I just feel like I will be tripping other hopeful couples to get them. I trust God, and I know HE will give us a child that belongs with us or will not give us any child. And I’m ok with that.
Even Later on June 9, 2008...
"Why do we even need to adopt or go thru this if there are so many families already in this???”
I felt like God immediately answered me as soon as the full thought went thru my head. He said “What if the only way for this child to come to know ME is thru being with you & what is wrong with you having the happiness that will come from this child?”
So, there’s my answer. Thank you God.