For the past couple months God had been really impressing on me that it was time for He and I to have alone time again. I have always struggled with devotions and specific prayer time, but lately I could tell I need more time with just God. Plus, my Mom has been after me in a sweet way to make sure I have that time with God, especially when I would talk to her about any stress in my life or just in general conversation she would bring it up. I think God knew she was the only one I could hear that from that I wouldn't take offense to. So, for the past few weeks I had taken up getting up and going out into our sun room and curling up with my Bible, reading a few chapters and then praying.
Well, this morning I had gone into my time with God thinking I needed some answers. It was time to figure out what Ben and I should do about adding to our family. We both wanted more kids and I had been leaning towards trying to get pregnant again but just never was able to do anything that would lead to that. It scared me and Ben. After such a hard first pregnancy we both weren't sure if that was the right thing to do.
So, that morning after reading my Bible I got on my knees and asked God what I should do. As a couple tears dropped from my eyes I asked God "If we are supposed to try to get pregnant, God, we would love to. But if we are supposed to adopt we would love to do that too. I just don't know what to do or how to know what YOU want us to do." and then I decided to get a little bold and asked, "God if we are supposed to adopt will you have Ben bring it up and want to do it? He never brings it up and then I would know. I trust you. In Jesus name, Amen."
A little less than a week after I prayed that prayer Ben and I ended up going out to dinner by our selves. (Kobe was at Grandma Wentzel's of course :) ) Ben and I sat at the restaurant waiting for our food and we were talking about our health insurance. Because we don't use it that much and we pay for it our selves we had let it get to where we had a really high deductible and a pregnancy and delivery would probable cost us $5000 out of pocket. Ben had talked to the rep at his work and found out how to move things around so if I was to get pregnant around November we could switch stuff and have a much better insurance by the time I had to deliver. I say November because I had decided we needed to figure out what we were going to do and I was going to turn 25 in November and if pregnancy was in the cards I wanted to do it sooner rather than later.
So, there we are, running over numbers, talking about all of this and Ben blurts out "We should just adopt." It was very off the subject we were on and I just looked at him and said, “OK”. And that was that. Like we both knew that was the end of the pregnancy talk and the beginning of what we were going to do. So quickly, so out of no where, so GOD.
It took me a couple days to tell Ben about my prayer and how God had answered it. As we laid in Bed one night a couple days later I finally told him about my prayer. Ben said he had noticed that I looked a little surprised after he had suggested we just adopt. He said that he then understood why all the sudden he had become very OK with the idea of a domestic adoption. God is so good.
So, now it is up to God, as it always is, to show us what to do. I have been researching and trying to make a game plan for us. God is Faithful.
We don’t know when, where or how, but we got our answer.
It will be interesting to see what God has planned for us.It is May 31, 2008 as I type this and I can think of nothing else to say but God is Good.