December 19th, 2008
On December 17th, 2008 "Sherry" called me and asked me if we would be interested in adopting "Buddy". "Charles", her husband, has definitely decided he is not going to adopt "Buddy" - that he is not meant to adopt "Buddy". That has left "Sherry" with the heart wrenching task of trying to do what is best for "Buddy" outside of keeping him.
For months now "Sherry" has been working on becoming a foster parent so she would be allowed to adopt "Buddy". That has been her plan all along. "Buddy" has been with the family for months now and has called "Sherry" 'Mom' for almost the entire time. To him she IS 'Mom'.
"Sherry" went to Mark, my father-in-law, and was talking to him about the situation and he told her that he thought Ben and I would be interested in taking "Buddy" so she called me to ask me about it.
"Sherry" has ran into two problems in adopting "Buddy". One was when they were doing their home study "Sherry" and "Charles" would not agree to not spank their kids, they have 5 biological kids - 3 of which still live at home, or "Buddy"-which is a requirement if you are getting licensed through our agency.
Number two, when a social worker came back out to their home and explain how close they were to being able to adopt "Buddy" (his parental rights have been terminated) "Charles" was open about the fact that he is not sure he is the one that should adopt "Buddy". That floored me. Ever since "Sherry" told me that "Charles" had told her that I have not been able to understand it. Why would you go through all these classes, the paper work, let this kid live in your house for 6 months and then decide to fess up to these feelings. Ever since I have heard that my heart has been breaking into a million pieces for "Sherry".
When "Sherry" called me she said, "Mark said you might be interested in "Buddy"." I told her that I considered "Buddy" her son. I did not want to take him from her, but IF something happened and she was not allowed to adopt him for some reason I would gladly take him.
She then went on to tell me that "Charles" had made his final decision and that was that they would not be adopting "Buddy". You could hear the heart wrenching sadness in "Sherry's" voice. It was the sadness of a Mom that had to give up HER child and didn't know what to do.
I could tell she was on a mission to do what was best for "Buddy". All of us Mom's know that feeling, the feeling that we would die for our kids and we would do anything in our power to protect them. She gave me the phone number to "Buddy's" social worker and encouraged me to call her soon. We hung up and there, in the Target parking lot, I started praying - and crying.
To be continued...