"God gives us dreams a size too big so that we can grow into them."

Thursday, March 12, 2009

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails"

Over the past couple weeks I have been reading, a lot.  I have come across books that I wanted to read and books I thought would be corny but I ended up loving.
The most important thing about the variety of books I have been reading is the things I have learned through reading so many different stories.  I have read books and stories from all perspectives of foster care & adoption.  
It was eye opening to me to see that every adoption is not a rescue.  It is not that you are saving a child from extreme neglect every time.  Sometimes is just boils down to having to make the best of a hard decision.  

It also took me a step further in the realization that EVERY child will want to know about their biological parents.  They will want to know things I might not have the answer for but I know this, it will be very important for me to collect all the information I can about their family so that I can help them and it will be just as important for me to make sure they know that it is ok that they wonder about their parents and may want to meet them.  It will be important that ever aspect of their lives is an open subject between us and our adopted/foster kids.  They need to know we love their parents too.
It was also interesting to read how each child seems to deal with adoption differently.  Some kids really struggle with feeling out of place no matter how much love you pour on them.  Some kids will be thankful towards both their biological parents and their adoptive parents for doing what was best for them.  

Very often I still am shocked this is what we are doing.  I still tell God that I am not sure I can handle what might come up.  You can read all you want and try to prepare the best you can but besides that you have to just trust God.  I didn't plan on foster care, I wanted more of the "a baby showed up on my doorstep" type of adoption.  I have since learned that life is not like the movies and there will be no perfect bundle of joy dropped off on our perfect doorstep.  But some day I will get a phone call, and I will drive to a building a meet a child that I am supposed to take care of, even if it is only for one night.  It won't be perfect, but it will be God's plan.

Now, here is a shot from when my mom painted our spare bedroom:

I haven't been able to decorate it further than putting the furniture in place.  I feel like I can't decorate for someone I don't know yet.  So this room is waiting too to see who is going to dictate what it will turn into.  I am so excited to see if it ends up with girliness dripping off the walls or if we end up having TWO rooms filled with spiderman.  I am excited to see if it ends up having the smell of baby wipes and lotions fill its air.  I am so excited and scared and excited.  I really am.  These are definitely not my plans but I know it will end up better than my plans.


Alyssa said...

My good friends out here who have adopted 2 now involve the biological parents as much as they can. That is so important for sure. Those sound like great books you have been reading. I love reading good teaching books! That is wonderful you are doing everything you can to prepare. You, Ben, and Kobe will all be a wonderful family for the many kids you will parent:).
WE are excited to see God work through you all. We love you so much, and can't wait to see what the blank room will be!!! How fun!

gram said...

You, Ben and Kobe will be an awesome family for a child or children to be part of your family even if it is one day or more. I know I have trouble dealing with unknown and changes but you are doing great preparing and accepting changes and unknowns in your life.

Rebekah said...

I read the first one! And was encouraged by many of the stories. I did a lot of reading, as well, I love hearing different perspectives...it made me more well rounded!

And AMEN to your last sentence. These are not OUR plans...they are God's...and OH MAN! they are so much better than we could have dreamed.

Thank you for letting us sit in on your journey!

spng7 said...

The Lord will never give you more than you can carry .... that is a really old saw, but as true today as when I first heard it.

the johnson crew said...

how exciting!

Lauren said...

The Lost Boy is one of the best books I have ever read! Very hard to read because it is true....you should read the other books in the collection...I think the first one is called a Child Called it....if you havent read it already!

Love you!

amanda said...

I'm excited to see the plans God has for your family! What a trip!

Great books btw. Lost Boy was quite a heartbreaking story. The whole series is, but it is nice to see how all that pain turned out.

Yeah, I have several family members that are adopted. Knowing about their biological parents helps them to just kind of fill in that 'who am i? and where do i come from?' that most of us ask. even just to know what nationality they are rather than the unknown. And none of them were necessarily "rescued"...just needed a better environment.