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"God gives us dreams a size too big so that we can grow into them."

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Are these clouds ever going to break?

My life is so good.

I literally have nothing to complain about.

But foster care is like a black fog that is covering all of the good up.

I am waiting for the light of God's POWER to come bursting through all this darkness.

Lizzy's visits are horrible.

And now they are talking like her visits with her dad are going to be 2 hours now.

And like mom might start having 2 visits a weeks, 2 hours each.

Three times up at the agency a week.

My schedule truly will not allow for that if I want to be sane at all.

I am sick at the thought of having to have her moved.

I just don't know what to do.

It just isn't fair to our family.

If next month they move to that it will be the end.

Horrified.

6 comments:

Rebecca said...

Does your county not provide transporters? Where I live CPS transports the kids to the visits if the foster parent requests it and there is a reason (such as you work full time or you can't transport on a particular day due to another commitment). I would say that 3 visits a week would be cause for you to ask if they could transport to at least SOME of the visits. Could it hurt to ask?

Heather said...

Praying for you and Lizzy. I truly hope you all get to stay together.

Leah W said...

we have to drive the kids there and stay there for the visits - even tho sometimes I do leave.

Carol said...

The transporting and staying must be your agencies requirement. That wouldn't be the standard for DHS in your/our state. The kids caseworkers have always done visits--transportation and supervision. To do what you are saying, would make it impossible to work or parent other children. It is unreasonable.

I know, not telling you anything you don't already know.

Leah W said...

I just needed to vent because I am sad right now and about S. S is going to her mom's house this weekend.

It is just hard to not have any say and to be jerked around. Sending a child off to be unprotected around a pedophile is exceptionally hard, especially when she comes back telling me he touches her.

Then to have Lizzy screaming for me and to have to ignore her...my mama heart just leaps into my throat.

In certain ways God has given me the ability to be numb to it, but every once in a while it is like it all crashes down at once and I just don't see how what I am doing is truly doing any good.

God has a plan, some day I will know what it is. HIS grace carries us through.

Becca B. said...

Praying for you, and your two, sweet girls. It's all just so hard, that's why we can't carry the burden, got to keep giving it back to him.