Years ago, I imagine almost 6 years ago, I was in Meijer (yes, all I do is shop :)). I had little Kobe with me and I was shopping for our weekly groceries. I was in line to pay. I had a full cart, I am sure that there was around $100 worth of groceries in my cart. There was a lady in front of me who had a little one of her own with her. She too had a cart FULL of groceries. The cashier went through, scanned all her items and when it was time to pay she pulled out her credit card to pay...and it was declined. They tried it again, it was declined again. Right them God told me "Pay for her groceries." That is when my excuses began.
All the excuses that ran through my head:
-God didn't just say that to me, I just thought it myself.
-Look at all the pop she is buying, she does not need all that pop.
(by this time she had headed to the ATM to try to pull money out so she could pay for her groceries)
-See Lord, she is going to the ATM, it will work out.
But, He wouldn't leave me alone. And I fought Him on it. My excuses kept going through my head but I thought to myself "I will walk past her at the ATM (which was NOT on my way out) and I will see if everything worked out. If it didn't I will offer to pay for her groceries if the opportunity comes up" So, I walked past her. She was not having any luck at the ATM. My excuses started again:
-She will be embarrassed if I offer to buy her groceries.
-She will think I am CRAZY if I tell her God wants me to buy her groceries for her.
So, she walked out to her car, without her groceries, and I walked out to my car with a cart full of groceries.
As I loaded my car I saw her drive past me, she wasn't crying, she was drinking a Starbucks coffee.
-See Lord, she doesn't need my money, she had enough money to go to Starbucks (which I NEVER do). She didn't need my money.
I was still making excuses as she drove off.
I know that I was supposed to buy her groceries, I knew I was supposed to buy her groceries, and I didn't.
To this day, when ever I have a situation come up like I did at Walgreens that day comes to mind. The day I said, no God, I must not be hearing you right.
I still think about that day, such an insignificant day really, that changed me. I screwed up. I have since then tried to not let that happened again. I learned a much needed lesson that day. I have regretted that moment for a long time. On the other hand, I am also thankful for it. It made me very aware of what I had missed out on and the regret I would feel if I let it happen again.
I couldn't sit here like "super christian" and only have you read about when I got it right, it is equally important for me to share my failures. I always laugh when people say "God is really using you", most days I am too pathetic for Him to be able to use. But once in a while, when He feels like showing off, He chooses one of His most pathetic children to do something that needs to be done. Because HE can.