"God gives us dreams a size too big so that we can grow into them."

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

"And now, Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in You."


I got a call today.

Well, actually yesterday because I am post dating this blog post.

The call was from S's social worker.

I thought she was just calling to see how things went this weekend.

She told me she talked to S's mom's therapist.

The therapist told her that S's mom is not approved for unsupervised visits.

The therapist said that S should not be alone with her mom right now.

I know what you are thinking.

She does.

Grandma is "supervising" those visits.

As of today, Monday, at 3 pm, S's worker plans on suggesting at the next hearing that S stay in foster care, that she only has supervised visits at the agency, and what sounds like 3 more months of therapy for her mom while S remains in foster care.

All of that could change in a moment.

And now I feel a glimmer of hope.

I have gotten to the point where I almost hate hope.

I feel excited/sick when I hear something that may mean S will stay with us.

And then I hear HIM.

"She isn't gone yet..."

"She hasn't been taken from you yet..."

"She was only supposed to be with you for 3 months..."

"And no matter what, I am still with you..."

In all honesty I am waiting for them to call and say even though the therapist said "don't do it" they will still be sending her home.

At the same time I am still waiting to see God do a miracle.

I know how ever this ends good will come. Good will come out of it. Good will come after it.

Good has always been here.

GOD has always been here.

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD And whose trust is the LORD."


spng7 said...

I can see His hand in all of this. You go on your trip and leave it all to Him. God bless.

StarfishMom said...

Either way Leah, God IS FAITHFUL!!! This WHOLE JOURNEY is SO emotional and gut wrenching. HE is in control!

Rebekah said...

But God.

the johnson crew said...

wow leah, that is amazing. Praying for God's protection on her life. praying for all of you. i remember those feelings... the rollercoaster of foster parenting.

God bless you!

The Brothers said...

I understand. Luckily, so does HE :)
Let's both hang in there, we'll be alright. He's got this.