"God gives us dreams a size too big so that we can grow into them."

Thursday, July 30, 2009

I don't know if I want to post this...

...but, my life is my life.  

As I sit here with this little dark eyed girl sitting on my bed next to me, color pictures on some paper stopping only to have me remark on them and as I do tilt her head back and forth with a huge smile on her face all the while clicking her tongue, I can't help but think of S's life.

Today, S's mom & grandma apparently decided to be idiots.  It's thursday-we all know that that means S had a visit scheduled with her mom.  So, I go to the visit and am waiting for her mom to get there.  When mom walks in the doors S runs over to her & gives her a big hug and then I see S's Grandma AND UNCLE walk in behind mom.  Now-I have to explain why that is a BIG deal.  The whole reason S was taken away was because of something her uncle did.  It isn't what you are thinking, I guess a better way to put it would be something he did around her.  I think that is a little more accurate.  Anyway, a few weeks ago S's mom & Grandma asked if her Uncle could come visit S and they were told NO, he was part of the problem and he was not allowed to see her.

So, here he is.  And here I am.  And I am the only one that knows he isn't supposed be here. The normal social worker that usually supervises the visits & know very well that he isn't suppose to be there was not there and another social worker was doing the visit.  So anyway, S has run over to her mom, and there her uncle is and of course mom & Grandma are all like "Look who came to see you!"  And he gives her a hug - by this time I already have walked over to the receptionist's window and looked at them very seriously & said, "He is NOT supposed to be here."  So, I think Grandma & Mom got the gist of what I was doing and Grandma & Uncle go out to the car.  S is in her mom's arms and I asked to speak to the social worker privately before I left.  I told her that he was NOT supposed to be there and asked her to please not let S's mom come out to the lobby for any part of the visitation time because I didn't want them coming in the lobby and spending time with her there.  Sometimes S's mom will come out early so Grandma can have a few minutes with her.

So, I left and called Ben because I was upset.  I made sure to come back almost a 1/2 hour early to make sure he wasn't in the visit with her, and he wasn't.  He didn't come back in the building.  When I got back our normal social worker was there and when S's mom came out with her I mouthed to her, "Her brother is here."  To which her eyes got big and she was not happy.  

*side note* Again this week S came out of the visit and was excited to see me and wanted to go to me and mom didn't like that much.

Anyway, so Mom starts to carry S out to my car and thankfully the social worker is walking out with us.  S's mom takes a detour so S can say good bye to Grandma at Grandma's car and the social worker follows her over to the car.  Mom proceeds to introduce the social worker to her brother and then the social worker says, "You need to take S back over to Leah's car."  As they are walking over to my car the Grandma says, "So he can come to the visit next week right?" and the social worker says, "No, I have not submitted any request even asking if he can"  WHICH SHE ALREADY DID AND THEY SAID NO!!!!!!!!!!!

So, S's mom puts her in my car & they leave and the social worker and I talked.  She couldn't believe that they had brought him and that they were stupid enough to think that he would be able to come next week?  They were told NOOOO!!!!   What part of that is hard to understand?!?!??!?!?

Anyway, the social worker said she would call S's mom and tell her that

 #1.  He is NOT allowed at visits, in the parking lot, or in the lobby.

#2.  If that is a problem she will have to start using the transportation provided by the agency and they would come pick up her and only her.

So, it was kind of a crappy visit.  At least for me.  Afterwards S was all weird too.  Threw fits over nothing, peed & pooped her pants.  It was just weird.

Now, she is back to her lovely little self, I can't tell you how many times she has told me "wove you" and how smart she is.  She has been all over me all evening and has been cracking me up with all her antics and how she is following the boys around copying everything they do.  (Kobe has a friend over to spend the night tonight)

As I first stated, this is my life.  It sucks sometimes, but the bad comes with a whole truck load of good and covers it all up.  Thank you Lord for that!!!!


Alyssa said...

Poor baby. I am so glad she has you guys right now. So sad. I can understand why you were upset. I would've been too.

siretap said...

Honey, if you are being tested, you are passing with flying colors. I'm proud of you ... you protect your kids soooooooo well. Love you, Gram

Vicki Aeschliman said...

S is so lucky to have you!!!

Becca B. said...

Wow! I bet that was an experience...so sad that S's family is trying to take advantage of the situation, especiall when they should just be thankful they are getting to see her regularly! Go you for stepping up and saying something, even when I'm sure it was awkward and tense to do so. These precious little ones depend on us (foster parents) to do all that we can to protect them, you are showing more and more each time you have the oppurtunity why it is that God has comissioned you to this ultra important job!
Love from Arkansas!!!

party of eight said...

that is tough leah. but you really handled it well.

for a while amos was having 1 hour of unsupervised visits with his bio mom at her appt, i had to drop him off, basically at the curb. one time the mom told me bio dad was at the home visit and i had to report that, b/c that was notn allowed. then i also had to report when he came back reaking of smoke, etc. his skin would get so rashy adn irriated, it was so tough.

visits were always the TOUGHEST thing about doing foster care. taht as well as loosing them. keep looking to Christ. you are doing an amazing job!

gram said...

I agree S. is lucky she was placed with your family.

Faith said...

tough. I remember when we had visits...i hated it. our girl was a little older and *WE* knew she was in much better care and had much more love in our house, but when she went to visits none of that mattered and all she wanted was her bio mom. That was hard for me, even with all the training where they tell you that's going to happen. It still didn't prepare us for the real life stuff. Hang in there though!