-

"God gives us dreams a size too big so that we can grow into them."

Thursday, April 23, 2009

wow

Sometimes you just have one of those weeks where nothing is really wrong, but life just seems hard. I have always had to fight my negative "glass half empty" personality. I struggle with bouts of depression that have no basis and I have to constantly remind myself that there really is NOTHING WRONG. It is just a mood. Just hormonal. Just me.

And then I look around. I see families going through so much more than I ever dream I could bare if it happened to me and I think, wow, am I selfish. Wow, am I confused about what is worth getting upset about.

I don't have a child that CAN'T EVEN WEAR CLOTHES because they will rub his skin and give him terrible blisters.

I don't have a child who just had surgery on his heart.


I didn't just have a doctor tell me they think my baby's brain dead post surgery.

I have never had to bury one of my kids.

I'm not a confused little boy that wants to go home to his "mom" and keeps getting told he can't.


And the list goes on and on and on.


I think that part of my discontentment is from a lack of "getting it."  Not understanding exactly what I was made to do.  All I can do is fight, try my best and try to remember that there is more to life than a job, a nice house and a "perfect" looking family...it is supposed to be about this:

I often say that I hope some day I really get it.  That I will see this world through the eyes of Jesus instead of my own that are blinded my my humanity.  I really hope some day I get it.


3 comments:

gram said...

I think you do get it because you know what is important. You are a great, kind and very generous person and knows we can not solve all the problems but God can. It is difficult sometime to have things happen in God's time frame and not ours.

Alyssa said...

I still quote the simple phrase, Life is hard, but God is good from an OLD Pam Thumb song. I loved that song in high school when we were going through some really hard times in our family with my brother.
Life is hard. We all can be depressed if we are not careful to keep our eyes focused on HIM. It is so easy to be selfish and think only of what we are going through. God is still working on me on this one too. I am so thankful for you, my sister in law who does go to the true source for help, and shares it with all of us.
I love you!
Thanks for sharing that!!! I needed that today:)
GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME!!

Shelly Marie said...

"Remember, HIS love is perfect. We are not-and we don't have to be. He isn't going to love us any more or any less." (this is from a mag that I was reading) =) God is a faithful God even if we are NOT!!! =) Thanks for sharing you thoughts!! =)