"God gives us dreams a size too big so that we can grow into them."

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

A rough, twisty, uneven road...

"The process of adopting a child pushes your personal envelope as a woman, as a mother, and ultimately, as a human being. It takes more courage than you think you have, offers more self-knowledge than you think you want, and resembles your characteristics into someone familiar but changed."

Jana Wolff, Secret Thoughts of an Adopted Mother

I read that quote every time that I visit my friend Rebekah's blog.  She is in the process of adopting a new born that should be here in a couple weeks.  If you haven't read her story you need to.  She is able to put into words emotions that so many feel but don't know how to express, plus you will love reading the story about how she met the birth mom of her baby boy that will be coming soon.

Over the past year as Ben and I have been preparing for the path God has set before us I have found that some of the best learning tools out there are the blogs that these precious mothers put out there for us to read.  Blogs of Foster Moms have obviously been of great interest to me and often I will sit down and read from start to finish 3 years worth of a Foster Mom's blog trying to soak in every bit of experience that they have to offer.  
I also read other adoption blogs, some domestic, some international and some that didn't have any idea that adoption was in the future.  

Among all these blogs there is one thing in common:  there is always heart ache, there is always trials, there is always a hard wait and there is ALWAYS the goodness of God that shines through when finally these families that God ordained before the foundations of the earth are finally brought together.

As Ben and I decided what path to take I watched God ask us to take the one that everyone looked at as the hardest.  The one that could lead to the most heart ache, the most trials and the most waiting.  After reading all these blogs I see that I will be in amazing company.  I count it a true blessing to be asked to do something that is not about me and what I want but is about Him and what He knows.
Plus, after learning about the other ways to adopt I have found that they all have hardship within them and we all seem to be in the same boat as we muddle through all this paper work looking for our kids.

As much as every story is totally and completely different, there is one common thread that will always run through each story:

A religion that is pure and stainless according to God the Father is this: to take care of orphans ... who are suffering, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.  James 1:27

Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.  Matthew 25:40

Deciding to adopt or foster is God's work. Period.  Yes, it seems we are setting our selves up for heart ache.  Yes, it will be the hardest thing we will ever do.  Yes, God called us to do it and with God all things are possible.  

As I have read all these blogs I have stumbled upon one more theme that several of them have in common.  There are many women that are matched up with birth mothers (speaking of domestic adoption) that perhaps even get as far as bringing the baby home, that then have to deal with the biological mother deciding to parent the baby.  Or foster mom after foster mom that take care of children for months or even years that then have to hand kids back to parents that are not capable of taking care of them.  Or families that have children over seas that have to wait for governments to ok paper work that some how takes years to go through.
After all these things come to a head, once all hope seems lost God seems to take that time to show his goodness so brightly.  Most of the sceneos I mentioned are very often followed up in a month or 2 by "suddenly out of no where" the child they were meant to have is in their home, one way or another.

I am so excited for the next step in this whole journey, please keep us in your prayers along with our kids and everyone else you know that is adopting or fostering.  It is so emotionally draining, more so than you ever thought possible, but, the pay off in the end will be amazing.


gram said...

Wow one never thinks about all the problems with adoption or foster care. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Ben and Kobe and also Shelly, Jay and Brooklyn. God has a plan but we just don't know what that plan is and it is so hard waiting when one feels they are ready.

Rebekah said...

Beautifully put. (And thanks for the shout out! :)

I love this community that we've tapped into. It makes the un-natural seem a little more natural.

I think of you often and can't wait to see how God leads and adds to your family...

Alyssa said...

Very well spoken, Leah! You are an encouragement to me often b/c you keep your focus exactly where it needs to be.
"Faith-motivation means we believe the Word of God (Hebrews 11:1; Romans 10:17) and act on it (James 1:22-25; John 3:36) no matter how we feel (Hebrews 11) because God promises a good result in His time (Hebrews 11:6; Romans 8:28-29). Our actions prove we trust God when we choose to obey His Word, even in difficult circumstances."
-One of my favorite quotes of my dad!

Love you!