"God gives us dreams a size too big so that we can grow into them."

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Shocking, I know *sarcasm*

Well, Lizzy's visit was canceled yesterday. I don't think the social worker has any details yet so she said she will keep me posted about next week's visit and such. Also, Lizzy's dad called her, the social worker, but now I can't figure out if she was talking about bio dad, who I knew was going to call (has no rights to Lizzy) or if she was talking about her legal dad who does have rights to her and may want to start up visits...we'll have to wait and see.

Does that all confuse anyone else or just me? :)

Anyway, I have been a little hesitant to post about S. She is going thru a hard time right now. She has finally gotten old enough to express her self in words and what I am hearing is just so sad.

She had a overnight visit with her mom & grandma over the weekend and came home and told me that she doesn't think her mom likes her because she doesn't let S live with her. She cried over this idea. I don't know what started it all, but she finally is trying to figure out why she doesn't live with her bio mom. She is so young to have to worry about things like this-it is just sad.

She has a court hearing on July 14th. Yet again I am sitting here wondering if this will be the date that she goes home. Ben and I had such an odd conversation about S the other day where we can see that no matter what is decided, if she stays or goes, we are finally at peace with whatever the outcome is. There are huge PROs for her staying, but obvious cons too. Huge CONs if she leaves, but perhaps the minimal pros of her going home would be worth it to her in the long term.

She is obviously too young to know what going home permanently really will mean, but I know that her bond with her bio mom is strong and isn't fading. It just comes in waves, some days she would choose to live here, some days she wouldn't. I am sad to say that I truly KNOW that her mom is not mentally capable of raise a child to be a functional part of society. But, it is what it is. Who knows what will happen on the 14th, or two months later, or three months later...it is quite the corner we have painted ourselves into loving a little girl that isn't legally ours. I guess we will have to wait and see what the consequences of that turn out to be.


gram said...

:( So sad.

Kelli said...

praying for S. That is sad, she is too young to have to deal with that! Trusting God for her future