Some days I have found myself bearing it at times, or I have found myself counting the minutes until nap time so that I can have a minutes peace.
Last night I read a blog post that got me thinking.
Basically it reminded me to find joy in whatever I was doing. As I was standing at the sink thinking about how to find more joy in my day I looked around. Sink full of dishes, toys on the floor, laundry that was calling my name, work that was calling my name...and 2 little girls. (Kobe was at Basketball with Ben so it was just me and the girls)
S was sitting at the table eating and Lizzy was in her high chair
rubbing her entire body with eating chocolate pudding. And there they were, my JOY. I had waited a long time for my little girl, and now I have two. Yes, as foster care goes, I don't know how long I will have them-but that tends to make them all the more precious. It makes even the simple things mean so much more. It makes that little girl sitting in her high chair rubbing chocolate pudding in her hair just a little more beautiful and the other little girl sitting at the table asking me for something else for the 100th time today just that much more irresistible.
I have been spending a little too much time bearing the things that have been making my life "harder" - I am ready to embrace them and feel the joy that comes right along with them.