"God gives us dreams a size too big so that we can grow into them."

Friday, June 4, 2010

Have I Mentioned

My Family from WiddlyTinks.com

Have I ever clearly spelled out that I always pictured our first daughter/adopted child/foster child would a little asian girl? I thought that when we chose foster care that that image would never come to life...until I saw S. Our first foster child was/is half chinese. I even have had people say to me, "You never see asian kids in foster care."

Then after we got S I felt like our next child would be an african american little boy. Then, enter K. Our african american little boy. I do have to admit, when I first saw K it wasn't like the first time I saw S. S I took one look at and knew she was ours. Obviously I use that term loosely considering she is supposed to be reunited with her mom according to the status of her case. But, we have had her from almost a year now, on June 8th it will have been a year that I have been her mom, that she has lived in our house and to me, whether she stays here forever or not, that makes her ours. Anyway, when I saw K I felt no connection to him. I second guessed even taking him home with me. There were 3 other kids there that had lived in the same foster home as K that I looked at and felt more drawn to them than K! I still think about those kids all the time. Anyway, as the story goes, I did take K home and he is one of the sweetest/unpredictable kids you will ever meet. He will soon be with his forever family but he has taught me so much. I know he was put here for a reason.

So, not too long after K got here I started seeing/imagining/day dreaming about another little girl. I was picturing a little caucasian girl. For months now I have only thought about that little girl and that she would be our next child. I assumed from what I saw in my head it would finally be a biological child. No, I was not nor am not pregnant, but Ben and I started to think about trying for another biological child. I laugh now thinking that that is how it would turn out because that would be way to "normal" for us but I started doing research about the blood clot problem I had had and how to control that and also looking at our insurance to make sure it would cover the amount of the hospital bill would would want it to...and then the phone rang.

To be continued...


Lindsay said...

Your killing me ;)

Becca B. said...

You can't do that!
I hate cliffhangers!!!

Alyssa said...

We're praying for your new change. Love you

aka. Mimi said...

AAGGHHHH!!! That's not nice! Finish!!! Finish!!! :)

StarfishMom said...

C'mon.....I'm waiting!!!! :)

Maggie said...